A Quick Comparison

A quick comparison of the Democratic and Republican conventions:

1. Dem Convention has a stage designed to look presidential at the risk of being a little snooty with a podium that sinks into the floor and high-tech displays.

2. Rep Convention has a stage designed to be down-to-earth at the risk of looking like a high school debate competition with a spit shined floor and a single jumbo-tron screen.

3. Rep Dress Code – “I don’t care if that tie is uncomfortable, your grandmother likes it and you are going to wear it.”

4. Dem Dress Code – “Do you think I need a jacket, or is this t-shirt covered with buttons classy enough?"

5. At the Dem Convention, self-proclaimed conservatives and protesters gather outside gates before, during and after the convention. Many quote Scripture at convention goers, others show pictures of aborted fetuses and, in one case, walk around wearing a crown and a naked manikin on shoulders. All protesters of the Dems say things from “high horse” in an attempt to incite angry retorts from convention goers.

6. At the Rep Convention self-proclaimed liberals and protesters are given an assigned time and route to march through St. Paul as a single group. Mashing various groups of non-conformists, loners and frustrated extroverts together increases tension which raises the volume and the need to try to one-up the guy to the left, which leads to a rock being hurled through the underwear display window at Macy’s. All protesters of the Reps say things from “high horse” in an attempt to incite angry retorts from convention goers.

7. Rep Conventioneers chant “U S A” when they feel the spirit during convention functions, have a chip on their shoulders about “liberal” media bias with the exception of Fox News and feel going to the Rep convention shows they are more patriotic people.

8. Dem Conventioneers dance when loud music is played during convention functions, have a chip on their shoulders about Fox News and unfair media bias in general and feel going to the Dem convention shows they are more caring people.

9. Dem Convention is like a carnival – the kind with cheap side-shows and nickel/watery beer.

10. Rep Convention is like a family fun night at church – same old people from Sunday, but you can play hide and seek and there is cake!