Life and Death in an Unequal America

I try to convince myself things have changed – the halls and paths my kids walk are different, more tolerant and welcoming than the ones I took. They are in many ways, but the recent suicide deaths of four gay teens in the United States highlight the struggles too many still face.

Yesterday Ellen DeGeneres made a plea for change.  Ellen tried to tell those who feel alone and hopeless that she stands with them.  We need to spread her message and let those who suffer the taunts and aggression of bullies and idiots know we have their backs and are working to make this world a better place.  Minds and the world will change if we act.

Congress has yet to overturn Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT), the silly law that says gays may serve in the military only if they hide their sexuality.  The Iowa Supreme Court ruling determining that the Iowa Constitution prohibits discrimination and, therefore, any couple can marry regardless of their sex has created a political effort to unseat the Justices who stand for retention at the ballot box next month.  A plan to build an Islamic community center near Ground Zero in New York resulted in a controversy that continues to be discussed today in cafes, living rooms and radio programs thousands of miles from Manhattan.  This quick sampling of issues demonstrates that tolerance, fairness and equality are at the center of political debate today.

I have heard one theme alarmingly often in recent weeks during personal conversations, on television and printed in the media.  At some point in a discussion about DADT one participant dismissed the topic with “this is not on my list of hot issues, so I have not followed it.”  Later, the topic was same sex marriage and somebody said, “I am not sure why we spend so much time talking about such a small percentage of the population.”  Next, during a conversation about Islam in America another uttered “listen, I don’t know much about it, but they (Muslims) have to realize that their rights have to take a backseat this time.”

Hold on.  An act of discrimination, hatred, or unfairness does not become less despicable because you don’t know a victim, it only impacts a small group or because another wrong was committed.

Some 14,000 service men and women have been discharged from the military since DADT was instituted.  This equates to ONLY a single battalion of trained professional soldiers, but at the same time it equates to an ENTIRE battalion of trained professional soldiers.  DADT has impacted the lives of 14,000 patriotic Americans and we have cast aside their talents and contributions to our own detriment.

Equally, freedom of religion is more than a quaint concept that says you may worship Christianity as you please.  The rights of our neighbors and countrymen cannot be hindered because where, what, how and if they practice religion.  A few nuts calling themselves Muslims committed a heinous crime against humanity – this does not allow us to say to a group of Americans who do not share this hatred that their rights must take a backseat for a while.

We cannot afford to turn a blind eye to bullying, intolerance, hatred, and inequality.  If we fail to protect the freedom and rights of a few, America becomes less than it was intended to be.

The good news is that the solution is easy.  You don’t have to do much.  Have a conversation with your kids, your co-workers and your elected officials.  Let them know you expect them to stand up for every American’s rights.  Make a pledge to never again look the other way when somebody is mistreated.

It is not acceptable for us to permit inequity because most of us are unaffected.  Four teenagers took their lives in recent days because they could not face being ostracized by members of their communities.  Four is not many, but it is too many.

(Contact Graham Gillette at grahamgillette@gmail.com)
This entry was first published as a Des Moines Register blog entry.